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6 of 365 - Before he comes


6 of 365 -- Before he comes

The Meaning of Life (or "Before he Comes")


I sit in my corner and ponder the meaning of life.
Sometimes for hours, sometimes for days and now just moments before he come.
Before he clouds my mind with thoughts of love and passion, before he makes me believe that he will be real this time;
I ponder the meaning of life.
That point of existence held in the balance by fate and time?
No, this is that ancient dance that our bodies know all too well.
So perfectly made, so captivating and inviting, he draws me in...and I’m caught.
Ready to give all that I have and all that I have had to him.
This demigod that takes hold of me as if he knows how I was made.
A connection so strong, there is no way, it not the way we were meant to be.
And still I wonder…
Is this really God’s plan, or has this man strayed so far that God has abandoned his blueprints?
Here we are intertwined, like hand in glove, as if created for each other.
But something keeps us apart, there is an element missing, the composition of which I can’t describe       
...because I have never known it
It’s hard to get deeper, to let go, even with him inside me,
When he won’t let me inside him
Won’t let me see the truth, although I know that this is just a game, a play, a show that he puts on.
He knows the lines and actions so well.
Each scene filling me with hope and ambition
Blocking my thoughts of recognition
from seeing through his slyness, his coy,and his lies.

I just open wide and take him in
and I let him in again and again and again
and we fall.... no, I fall
and it gets faster and deeper and stronger and wetter
and I just can’t get enough
I go back for more and more and more
and I let him inside me,

And so now I’m  in my corner, backed in with no way out, and what is there to do at this moment,
but ponder the meaning of life?
Why are we here in this moment, if not to share each other, if not to give and take and release.
If not to be.
So now just moments before he comes, before he is finished with this act;
this last resolution before the chapter ends...
I ponder the meaning of life
and get lost in the dream that never was he and I.

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